


What He Deserves

by ishipsinsnottragedies



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Abusive Father, Angst, Boys Kissing, Canon Compliant, Developing Relationship, Guilt, Homophobic Language, Inner Dialogue, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mentions of Smut, Regret, Sexuality Crisis, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Touchy-Feely, development of feelings, unloving father
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-09-27 14:35:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20409382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ishipsinsnottragedies/pseuds/ishipsinsnottragedies
Summary: Monty's inner monologue about the events before and after meeting Winston at the summer party before Senior Year. (Let's just pretend that they stayed in contact after their 2nd hookup and actually talked things through and stuff.)I literally wrote this in a few hours idk what I'm doing. Let's hope this doesn't suck!(Title may change)





	What He Deserves

**Author's Note:**

> Let me just make something clear. I do not like Monty, and I hate what he did to Tyler. BUT, season 3 really dug into revealing why he is the way he is, and it all leads to his abusive, homophobic father. And for some reason, I really liked the relationship between Monty and Winston, despite Monty beating him up after their first hookup .___. So yeah, then this fic happened. I wish I got more of them since Monty is "assumingly" dead :(

The time was 2:37 AM and Montgomery de la Cruz was lying naked in a bed that wasn't his. More so, a bed where another boy was sleeping soundly next to him, also naked. A boy who he had developed a strong attraction to.

Winston Williams.

If this were a few months ago, he would've been utterly disgusted with himself. But now, at this moment, he's never felt happier or more free, in his life. He didn't think about the potential of his dad finding out, or any of his friends, especially since he spent half of his time calling other people homophobic slurs, just to push down the fact that he himself might be one.

His mother, terrified of his abusive and unloving father, left him and Monty just before he started middle school, so he failed to see what an actual family structure looked like.

He failed to know what love was.

Sure, he had crushes he never acknowledged, Bryce, and Alex in a small way.

But it wasn't actual love, more like an infatuation.

It wasn't until summer break when he went with Bryce to a party before senior year, he met someone that could potentially change that.

He first saw Winston leaning over a ledge, impeccably dressed, with a Rolex watch on and a drink in his hand. Bearing a resemblance to Timothee Chalamet (whom he previously denied to everyone that he thought he was attractive), Monty noticed him almost automatically. He didn't think anything of it and began walking into the house until his eyes caught his own.

Monty froze, almost in a mesmerized state. He had never seen eyes that shade before. Not a generic brown, but dark, molten chocolate, reminding him of the triple chocolate cake that he had for his 8th birthday.

He saw the guy was still looking at him, his eyes wandering up and down his body, and he felt vulnerable. So he quickly averted his eyes and went inside.

It wasn't until an hour later that he would see him again.

He stumbled through the rooms, drunk off of 5 beers, trying to find the bathroom, until he saw a room open with Winston on the floor, reading covers of vinyls. 

Next thing he knew, he was in the room, Winston was closing the door, and his lips were on Monty's. His first instinct was to pull away, which he did. He grabbed Winston's shirt with one of his fists and heard him softly say, 'Easy.'

That calmed him, even though he knew he was showing on his face that he was visibly terrified. Still, Winston's soft tone gave him the courage to succumb to his desires and kiss Winston.

He enjoyed it, so much so that he pushed Winston down and unbuttoned his pants in order to engage him in oral sex. Winston didn't seem to mind doing.

However, when Winston approached him later in public and suggested they hang out again, he panicked, calling him a faggot and proceeding to beat him up. It took Bryce, Alex and another guy to get him off of Winston. Bryce silently drove him home. He knew he was disappointed in him, but he couldn't help it. It was implanted in his brain that it was imperative that people did not suspect that he had any attraction toward guys, under any circumstances.

Then the Homecoming game happened. He and Bryce were by that point not on speaking terms after finding out what he did to Tyler, and they pushed each other's buttons on the field. He tried to talk to Bryce afterward, which ended badly and surprisingly bumped back into Winston. Not knowing why he was here, he asked him harshly, which made him flinch and admit he was taking pictures for the yearbook. It reminded him of Tyler's demeanor this past school year, which he realized was because of him.

Feeling a bit guilty looking at his still bruised face, he apologized and admitted to him being drunk and a bit fucked up mentally. Winston said it's cool, and shockingly, invited him to his house.

This time, Monty took the offer.

Being with Winston, felt surprisingly good. Being inside him felt even better than he could imagine. He wasn't overthinking anything, and he didn't feel the need to put on an act when he was with him.

He just was.

After their respective climaxes, they laid side by side in the bed. He smiled at him after Monty asked if they could do it again. He felt his heart flutter just looking at him.

Monty also confided in Winston, telling him he wasn't allowed to be who he wanted to be.

And that still reigned true for him, or at least he thought so.

He had put up so many walls to try and hide who he is and who he likes, that it either made him hostile, made people hate him, or tore him up inside.

But Winston didn't seem to care. So they kept in contact. Had a few more meetups and late-night rendezvous, not like his dad particularly cared where he was most of the time. 

He was still careful not to let anyone know of his whereabouts, and told Charlie to cover for him, saying he was out "buying drugs."

And now he's here, staring at the ceiling on an early Sunday morning, knowing he'll soon have to put back on the mask he's been wearing his whole life and pretending like he is just an arrogant, tough, popular straight jock that isn't self-imploding.

A hand on his cheek pulled him out if his thoughts. He flinched involuntarily but relaxed realizing it was only Winston.

"You okay?" he asked, blessing him with one of those dazzling smiles of his.

It made him shed a small one in return. "Yeah, just thinking."

Winston shuffled closer. "About what?"

"A lot of things. How we met, and how you forgave me so quickly after I beat the shit out of you."

"Oh, this again."

"How could you still want me after that?"

He rests his forehead against Monty's. "Do you still want to beat the shit out of me?"

Monty felt Winston's eyes bore into his soul and felt powerless. Like he couldn't be anything but truthful to him. "Definitely not."

"Then we're good." He slowly pulls Monty in for a passionate kiss, starting slow and using the hand on his cheek to lovingly caress the area.

The misunderstood jock wanted to cry. He hadn't felt affection like that in a long time, or maybe ever. It was so gentle and so sweet, he felt as though he didn't deserve it.

He reluctantly pulled away, leaving a confused look on Winston's face. 

"What's wrong, did I do something?"

"No, of course not. I just ...I'm not the guy you think I am."

Winston's face contorted in further confusion. "Okay?" 

"I mean, I did some bad shit to people, people that...didn't deserve it. So why do I deserve to be happy?"

He felt Winston wipe away tears he didn't even know were falling. "I get that. But the fact that you feel guilty about it says something about you, at least in my eyes." He brushed a lock of his curly hair out of his face. "You're a human being, who's capable of both good and bad. We all make mistakes, but we can learn from them and become better people."

Monty rested his forehead on Winston's again. "Why are you so good to me?"

The curly-haired brunette smirked, settling on top of Monty, their lengths accidentally rubbing together, causing them both to hiss lowly.

"Because, you've shown me that you're more than that guy," he said, kissing his jaw, slowly moving up to his lips, biting and sucking the bottom lip.

Monty's left hand wandered to his ass, giving it a firm squeeze, while the other was holding the boy's neck, not wanting Winston to pull away from the mesmerizing kiss.

He wondered why his father was so adamant that homosexuality being disgusting, when right now, he was elated, ecstatic, and incredibly aroused. It felt ...right. 

He had never experienced anything like it as if he was in a dream state he didn't want to wake up from. 

Montgomery de la Cruz didn't know much, let alone what the future held, but hoped he could continue to feel this way for a very long time.


End file.
